Classic 80's Movies: Road House 1989

'Dalton lives like a loner,
fights like a professional
and loves like there's no tomorrow.

The dancing's over, now it gets dirty'

You've got to love the old 80's tag lines.






So a couple of weeks ago I decided to watch this classic.
I think the last time was in my teens and now that I'm in my 30's I didn't quite realise how gay it was in places.

There's far too many to mention to be honest but one character that amused me the most was the evil henchman Jimmy.
How gay was this fucking guy?

An outcast (over this gayness) wannabe Ninja that secretly yearns to be George Michael that has a fetish for beating fat guys with a snooker cue.

What was the director thinking when they cast this guy?
Was his gayness to try and offset Mr Swayze's campness and try to butch Pat up a bit?

Anyway after watching this gay boy prance around like a twat the compulsory showdown between him and Mr Swayze finally happens.

Now the fight admittedly doesn't start well.

After a shirtless and oiled up Mr Swayze pulls the escaping gayboy off his motorbike (if I can call it that because it 150cc look like a Harley) the fight for the biggest gayer commences.

The fight begins with Gayboy advising Mr Swayze to "prepare to die".
To which old Patrick informs him "you are such an asshole".

After allot of legs flaying about delivering roundhouse kicks that would probably break the neck of a normal man, Mr Swayze finds himself in his position.













Not the best situation to be in around this mofo, especially when he's behind you and he whispers in your ear

"I used to fuck guys like you in prison"

This line was probably one of the funniest things I'd heard in a long time as it's quite obvious he was the village bike in prison judging by the way he's dressing now.
Was this naive writing or a deliberate line?

But it didn't stop there.

The bad guy's were all dead. Mr Swayze is technically bordering on being a full blown serial killer but his girlfriend forgives him anyway. Hey, it's sexy.

The credits are about to roll and the last shot is of a nekkid (washing out for all to see) Mr Swayze diving into a lake to join an equally nekkid Kelly Lynch for some skinny dipping when I noticed it.
















Who is the fucking guy sat on the bank of the lake watching them?
















This poor sod is sat eating his sandwiches, enjoying some alone time and the beauty of nature when without any hint or preview, he's gets to see Mr Swayze charging down the bank with his pork dagger slapping against his thighs.

Poor bastard.

Edit* (having looked at the picture again, I've just realised the guy is the blind guitarist in the film which just makes it even worse. In fact, thats just plain kinky.)

Poor blind bastard.